After an unforgettable night at West End that included my first Beer Pong game, I have recalled that probably you miss my quotes of Life of Brian. Don’t worry, you will have a weekly selection of my favorite humor quotes here:
BRIAN: I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman. PILATE: A Woman? BRIAN: No, no. Roman. [slap] Aah! PILATE: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he? BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons. PILATE: Weally? What was his name? BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'. CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha! PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison? CENTURION: Well, no, sir. PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked? CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir. GUARD #4: [chuckling] PILATE: What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'? CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir. PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
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And what about this contribution?:
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Stan: Yes.
Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
[Next prisoner]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Stan: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Stan: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Stan: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
Coordinator: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...
Stan: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.
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